My Accountability Map
My accountability practice is a living ecosystem. This map is not static; it grows as I grow.
1. Rooting: My Commitment to Awareness
Before any conflict arises, I ground myself in an ongoing commitment to noticing power dynamics, privilege, and the social systems that shape intimacy and embodiment. This means I move slowly, name power dynamics, and continuously examine how race, gender, class, age, sexuality, ability, trauma histories, and cultural context shape our relational field.
Rooting also means noticing my own somatic states (activation, bracing, collapsing, defensiveness, projection, etc.) and tending to them so I don’t unconsciously enact harm. I return again and again to: Pause → Sense → Name → Choose.
2. Branching: When Conflict Arises
When conflict or harm emerges between me and a client, my first step is to slow down and listen.
My response includes:
Sacred Pause
Inviting the client to share their experience in their own words if that feels supportive for them, without interruption.
Reflecting back what I heard, validating the impact even if it was not intentional.
Owning my part clearly, without defensiveness or justification.
Reaffirming their agency, including their right to stop the session, and/or seek another practitioner.
3. Mycelium: Who I Go to for Support
No ecosystem functions alone. When I am unsure, overwhelmed, or in conflict, I reach internally and externally for clarity and resource.
I seek support from my pod (and the more-than-human world around me):
Mentors
Trusted peers, partners and supervisors
My therapist
Earth, Fire, Water, Air, Spirit and Non-human Kin
4. Waterways: Where Clients Can Go for Support
I ensure my clients have multiple avenues for support, including:
Reaching out directly to me: hello@checheluna.com
Contacting one of my accountability partners if the client doesn’t feel comfortable reaching out to me directly
Kai Cheng Thom: kaichengthom@gmail.com
Captain Snowdon: liam@captainsnowdon.ca
Offering referrals to other practitioners if they feel safer elsewhere
This ensures I am not the only container, and it respects their autonomy.
5. Nutrient Rich Soil: Professional Disagreements
When disagreements arise between myself and peers in the field, I approach them as nutrients for growth. My process includes:
Curiosity first rather than jumping to assumptions
Naming the disagreement clearly and kindly
Checking assumptions and power dynamics
Seeking shared values and desired outcomes
Taking responsibility for harm I may have caused
Assess if (re)building trust is a shared goal and what support is needed if so
6. Rituals of Connection
To create embodied pathways for account-ability, I rely on repeatable practices:
Grounding or centering before addressing conflict
Placing a hand on my heart and pelvis to connect to my integrity and dignity
Naming aloud: “I choose curiosity.”
Centering impact, not intent
Attending community grief + movement rituals
Co-creating next steps with the client or colleague
7. Returning & Composting: Integration & Ongoing Practice
After any conflict or rupture, I practice:
Self-reflection (journaling, somatic inquiry, supervision, therapy)
Tending, growing and nurturing my ever-evolving pod
Honoring the courage it takes (for both me and the client or colleague) to engage in conflict with honest
Accountability is not a destination; it is a relational, embodied practice. This map is how I aspire to stay rooted in integrity while tending the ecosystems of intimacy, liberation, and healing that somatic sex education can invite us into.
